Thursday, December 31, 2009

Three Words for 2010

Welcome, 2010. What adventures, lessons, surprises, losses and transformations have you in store for me? Only the passage of time can answer this question. In the mean time, my task lies in giving my Self to being and doing my full potential. 2010, I have even chosen three words to help guide and keep my focus throughout ~

discipline.

Easily distracted, getting lost in the minutia, straying way off course - that's me. I'm great at creating/designing projects and starting them ... but I lack endurance. So many funky projects started, very few followed through to completion. I'm a girl of extremes, of cheeky impulses - a wild, wreckless type. How much of that can I attribute to character, and how much to Bipolar Type 2?

Constant swinging from extreme to extreme has eroded my definition of stability. I need stable, solid ground (a supporting structure) - even if I have no idea how to get it. I need to invite healing. I've discovered that applying a structure forces my compliance in key areas such as taking my meds and managing my sleep. In turn, I can function  - devote myself to being the best me possible, by undertaking realistic yet challenging creative endeavours. Being the best Roxanne I can be matters a great deal, because of this thing called authenticity.

As I embark on my own artist's way, I'm placing more focus on assigning time for daily writing practise. Writing my own variation of morning pages to keep stagnation at bay. It's only just occurring to me that an artist cultivates inspiration, rather than catching or receiving it. I have stories I must tell; and so, must strengthen and sharpen my story telling skills.

And what of healing? When embroiled in a fight for survival, one loses sight of the healing process and what it entails. And so, healing, for me, involves observing my limits and vulnerabilities. Also, accepting and honouring them. I challenge my Self, on a daily basis, to document the many ways in which bipolar/anxiety affect(s) my life and the lives of those around me. Authenticity for me means telling certain stories. Telling these stories means I gotta roll up my sleeves and dig into the guts of it all. At the primal, biochemical level of life, my body has a story to tell. I'm bound to stay and experience it, even when I don't like the truth it reveals.

Discipline means I've taken the initiative and dedicated energy toward designing a schedule for myself. It means surrendering to transparency as the story unfolds and envelops me. Most importantly, discipline means forging endurance ... showing up at the page, screen, canvas - ready to give my pound of flesh even when I don't feel like it. It means doing, making, behaving my Sunday Best .... all the time - even when no one's looking.

That's how I see life from my vantage point - at the junction of now and now.

Welcome to 2010. Embrace a new beginning.
Embrace the difficult work of metamorphosis.
authenticity ~ healing ~ discipline
join the revolution

I strive to be the change I wish to see in the world. Every day.

8 comments:

Jo said...

My goodness, you are a wonderful writer. Amazing.

I think we all suffer from those things. It's called being human. :-)

All the best for 2010...!

Cheers,

Jo

Tess said...

Ah Roxanne, Discipline is one I need so badly. You are being ambitious in choosing three words, and I know they'll be helpful for you.

K9 said...

sounds like a terrific game plan. finishing creative projects will be a great exercise and yes that is a discipline. heres to you kid hope you meet all your goals and then some.

claire bangasser said...

Of the three words you chose, I can relate with one word in particular: healing. I am in need of healing in my life -- literally. I have hurt a knee on a walk to Compostela and fear now never to be able to walk the way I like to walk. But then, I remember that I may have chosen to this to learn a few lessons that I need to learn. My knee will help me found them out, I hope.
Maybe because I am an older woman, I am moving into 'cronehood' (or is it 'cronedom'?)really discipline and authenticity are two blessings which came to me on the way.
I resonate with your word 'authenticity' however because I so easily discount those who show little of it...
My word for the year is 'lightness' because I see my lack of it.
Blessings on your year ahead.
Enjoy the Artist's Way!

Goddess Leonie * GoddessGuidebook.com said...

Oh dearest woman... this is stunning...
I'm wishing you so many blessings, always :)

Ferdinand C. Lim said...

This post was written in an artistic way. Nice

foam said...

here's all the best for 2010 and beyond, roxanne.
here's to authenticity, healing and discipline .. oh, and some lightness, humor and fun ..
xo

Organic Meatbag said...

discipline just sounds so...hmmm...oppressive... but I know what you mean...kick ass this year!

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