Saturday, June 12, 2010

Six Things ~ A Week in Review

Mind cannot be still. It needs continuous thinking, worrying. The mind functions like a bicycle; if you go on pedaling it, it continues. The moment you stop the pedaling, you are going to fall down. Mind is a two-wheeled vehicle just like a bicycle, and your thinking is a constant pedaling. ~ OSHO
During weeks 5 and 6 emotionally charged, personal upheavel proved quite challenging. Too challenging, in fact, to afford participating in any group-structured activity. This includes the mindfulness living course. Still, savouring each moment, keeping my self in the now ~ these have become like second nature. I find myself drawn to activities that require mindfulness: my attention in the moment ~ reading, writing, photography. Here I share with you 6 things about my week {June 6th to 13th}.

1. It just bees that way, sometimes

Resistance is futile, isn't it? 2. It will happen ~ like it or not That sickly dread-heavy sensation filled me ... concentrated into the pit of my gut. I buzzed with negative energy. Unable to stay cool. The dam broke. The tears spilled from my eyes, down my cheeks. And I sobbed. And sobbed some more. I begged him to stay. Just a little longer. I'm beginning to realize ... to see, so clearly, It will happen. He must go to rehab. I cannot stop it. Keep love in your heart, Roxanne. Spread the love. It will heal your heart. 3.Want versus need Mick Jagger got it right, when he sang You can't always get what you want. But if you try, sometimes you might get what you need. What I feel I want amounts to selfishness and petulance  ~ impulsive chaos. What I need involves stripping away all layers of the dying way of life. Ouch! It hurts. Emotional charge, like I could not imagine. Very emotional. Why didn't I see this coming? Now that he's going, I find I want him to stay. Do I really? I feel so much confusion. I should listen to the wisdom around me. I should STOP RESISTING. 4. Until we meet again
Where you go, I cannot follow
Where I go, you cannot follow.
I shall miss you. 5. I will survive At first I was afraid I was petrified Kept thinking I could never live Without you by my side ... 6. I surprised myself I resisted the urgent impulses that tend to accompany my grief. I talked it out, I listened, also; I sought out people to distract me from myself. I'm still here. My marriage has ended. And, that's okay. Everything's gonna be alright ... rockabye ...


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