Monday, July 06, 2009

Menses and a Cheshire Cat

"What is the name," he asks, "of those big birds
That make such mournful whistling?"

She answers primly, not a little cheered.
"Some people shoot them." Suddenly her eyes are wet
And her chin trembles. On his breast she leans
And sobs most pitifully for all the lovely things that are not and
have been.

"How silly I am! -- and I know how silly I am!"
She says; "You are very patient. You are very kind.
I shall be better soon. Just Heaven consign and damn
To tedious Hell this body with its muddy feet in my mind!"

~from a poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Cheshire Cat from American McGee's Alice

And so, just in time for July ~ on a miserably hot and sticky day ~ I received my monthly blessing. Some blessing. I felt particularly malaised and miserable with this month's early arrival. Blaghhhhg ~ a crushing migraine, annoying vertigo that makes me wanna get horizontal, bothersome nausea that magnifies scents to horrific olfactory proportions and, of course, the crankiness that intensifies my intolerance to other humans.

I'll refrain from speaking of the cramps. Sleep eluded me as the heat rose quickly early in the day. I felt sooo tired ~ I could feel the nature just syphon the lifeforce from me ... gently ... warmly ... thickly. I could also feel a mild sense of what I will call a desire to jump out of my skin crawl across my consciousness. Couldn't something or someone just make it go away?

I did find my blessings though, later that day. I sought refuge there. I wrapped myself in the clean, crisp and white clarity of the setting (his) ... and the gentle silence (also his). I sat down, cross legged, by the large balcony door. The nearby pillow I found far too enticing ... I could not resist. When next he glanced my way, he saw me lying down, on my left side. The cool breeze drifted in, all around me.

And as I drifted further and further toward sleep, I could hear him rummage through various and sundry storage containers. Moments later, he covered me with a light blanket. And I slept. While I slept, he moved about so quietly. He prepared a lovely meal. When I awoke from my lovely princess nap, a meal awaited. Had it been a day, or two, since I'd last eaten a hot meal?

Dear Diary, I know it's never a matter of deserving such sweet and loving treatment. It's a matter of receiving, at a time when I needed ... of knowing the gentle humility of loving care that's given.

Dear Diary, everything he does exudes .....

 Artist ~ Laura Ferguson

~My Tea Party blog has taken a sabbatical. I blog here now ... please follow this blog ~


K9 said...

this is a good news. marriages fade in and out of sweetness dont they? good to stick with it as you discovered. i cannot tell you how it pleases me to know that you are loved and cared for.

and now, seriously, i do have something large for you that needs to be sent FedEx. long overdue. surely you know what it is.

send the correct and absolute it wont get lost address to K9's

Mayden' s Voyage said...

My surgery last week was an Endometrial Ablation- and hopefully my monthly agonies will come to a graceful end. I hope so. My life was becoming unmanagable because of it.

(a while back you asked me if I still had the piece you wrote about the Pilot...I found it the other day, but not on the computer. I had printed it out. Would you still like a copy of it? If you'll text or email me your address I will make a copy and mail it- ok? hugs! 919.599.0743)

Mayden' s Voyage said...
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