Monday, February 01, 2010

I'm About to Make a Gigantic Leap


Gah! I'm shitting-my-pants scared. That's good, I think. It demonstrates that I have given this some serious, serious thought. This time, it's not some hypomanic pie-in-the-sky fantastical scheme. It's the painfully obvious truth. Painfully. Yes, I mourn endings, even and especially this ending. I mustn't give into despair. Still, for a time I feel as though I must despair, as a way to pay homage to the painful price someone dear has to pay for my honesty.  I think of guilt as a punishment I receive for hurting others. How long a sentence do I serve? When does hope stop feeing forbidden?


Edit ~ 3.02.10: this week's Wishcasting asks us, what story do you wish to live or let go of?

This post ~ written Monday ~ seems a fitting answer to these questions which Jamie poses this week. I wish to live the story of authenticity, of love, of truth. Also, discipline, which I need, in order to commit to myself, to my creative spirit, to my relationships. I wish to let go of the stories of guilt and mourning. I wish to let go of the story of fear. Also anger. In it's place I wish to embrace acceptance, understanding and tolerance. I wish to live peace, patience, and courage ~ I will need these to weather the enormous changes on my horizon.

22 comments:

ρομπερτ said...

This pain/fear might be courage that has spoken its prayer.

Sarah said...

As Roxanne wishes for herself, I wish for her also!
May what is coming to you be weathered with calm and peace..may it flow by you like a gentle river. Roxanne...I am sending energy your way hon....and a good strong hug!
Namaste, Sarah

Suzie Ridler said...

As Roxanne wishes for herself, I wish for her also!

Rock on. Kick fear and anger to the curb and give yourself a big authentic hug. Awesome.

faerwillow said...

~as Roxanne wishes for herself so I wish for her too...may you find the sun shining bright along the horizon...may you wake each day feeling the love inspiration and desires to "live the story of authenticity"...beautiful wish indeed...brightest blessings~

Tabitha@ichoosebliss said...

As Roxanne wishes for herself, so I wish for her as well.

Wendy said...

As Roxanne wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. Enjoy the journey of your story.

Lissa said...

As Roxanne wishes for herself, I wish for her also!

TheModernGoddess said...

As Roxanne wishes for herself, so I wish for her also!

http://themoderngoddess.wordpress.com

Karen D said...

As Roxanne wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. My wish is very similiar this week, may we both let go of fear and be our authentic selves.

Sulwyn said...

As Roxanne wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. Be brave and embrace the fear as part of your healing.

Dreamwriter said...

As Roxanne wishes for herself, so I wish for her also!

be open.let go said...

As Roxanne wishes for herself, I wish for her also!

Your (1) Commandment for 2010 "Let Go" is a good one and the key to it all. Amazing things happen when you can finally let go. It is difficult but I encourage you and know that you will find the strength to do this as I have myself learned this after a hard life of struggles and living with massive guilt. Stay strong!

onasilentsea said...

as roxanne wishes for herself, so i wish for her also. i hope you find peace!

onasilentsea said...

as roxanne wishes for herself, so i wish for her also. i hope you find peace!

Katrina said...

As Roxanne wishes for herself, so I wish for her also! There is a great authenticity print out on Brene Brwn's website. I hung mine on my mirror.

Ellecubed said...

As Roxanne wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

Beverley Baird said...

As Roxanne wishes for herself, I wish for her also!

Rochelle said...

My first time to your blog - it is fascinating! You are fascinating! As Roxanne wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

Tess said...

Yes, shit-scared can sometimes be good. Unfortunately. Lots of good wishes from me also.

Tabitha the KnittingJourneyman said...

As you wish for yourself, I so loving and heartily wish for you as well.

soularchitect said...

As Roxanne wishes for herself so do I wish for her also!

Shannon said...

as you wish for yourself, I wish for you also...

(glad to have found your site — I love the truth, power, poetry and beauty I experience from you.)

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